:EDIT:
ok, so because all the yelling i got last night, i ran out the house just to go for a walk and get away from it. but i didn't go though front door because my parents were fighting in the living room, so i snauk out my bedroom window (my house is one story so i could jump down out my window without getting hurt.) and i just a long walk, wasn't sure how long i was out because forgot my watch. soon it got dark and had to go back home, but once i got back ,y mom found out i escaped though my window and though i actually ran away. first of all, i wasn't gonna run away because i didn't have my wallet or cell phone and if i realy wanted run away i would've taken the car.
course, mom and dad were not to happy about, but the time i had returned they had clamed down, i told why i left and my dad just give a speech about yelling is the only anwser in my house. bullshit! there are other ways besides yelling at each other, yelling only creates more yelling and anger. at this rate i spend the next few years going to a psyhcoloyist and go to mental instutite. diffinifity don't a family of my own.
:EDIT:


things around my house have been kind of chaotic lately. first, my parents decided to remodel my grandma's side of the house(our grandma lives with us.) because it is old and they wanted it to look more modern looking. they had to take out her kitchen to replace the tiled floor and she can no longer cook her own stuff and had to clean out her living room to repaint it. of couse my grandmother is not to happy about it, so i tell you know she is very old and has mid-polar problems, so within the first week on remodeling she starts scream at my dad thinking were taking her life away and shit.

my dad dosen't not like my grandmother at all and he is ill-temped, many a day i heard them scream and yell at each other. i once my dad gets in bad mood he stays in a bad mood and usually takes his fusratation out on my mom and pretty soon they start to fight, of couse, this puts major stress on me because i hate to hear them fight. it's becoming hard to have just one peaceful moment in my house. also becomes hard to get any work done for the emotional stress i'm getting.

i hate this, i really do. i hate it so but it's unbearable. i have spend many a night crying myself to sleep. if i had the money to move out i would, even college housing would be better then this. i would rather deal with a pissy roomate then a psychoic grandmother and a ill-temped father. i am determine to get a job, get some money and get the fuck out this place, but it's hard. i wish i could run away or drive away to somewhere i never come back, leave all this shit behind, but i can't. i think gods hates me or does not care about me or my family, al i way to some small frackle of hope but there is none. i think god wants to get raid of my family, will his doing a pretty good job on it. why don't i do him a favor and save him the trouble.....pull the trigger and let my pitaful life end.

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